𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐚𝐝

This painting depicts a home filled with 𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘯 (peace), 𝘮𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘢𝘵 (love and affection), and 𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘮𝘢𝘵 (blessing). The flowering trees bend over the roof in the warm glow of the sun in 𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘪, the season of spring. This signifies happiness which is the true meaning of 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘢𝘥𝘪 (a Farsi word derived from 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘢𝘥 meaning happy).

I recently interacted with several married women, who revealed that neither did they know nor ever try to find out what made them happy. The reasons for this lack of self-awareness may be two-fold. One the one hand, serving their families itself can constitute a major source of happiness. However, it also can be the case that they felt it was wrong to think about their own needs when they feel they ought to be be solely focusing on the needs of their loved ones.

Both Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin ^RA and Syedna Mufaddal Saifuddin ^TUS have prayed constantly for the happiness of mumineen. We have been encouraged to not expect happiness from others, since that is a path that will lead to disappointment and even depression. Therefore, it is our duty to ourselves to discover what makes us happy.

Just as one may find it impossible to achieve total happiness and fulfillment through others, it is also not practical to incessantly fulfill others’ expectations. It is important to strive and serve others. Yet, if we constantly stretch ourselves to please or show false affection to merely keep up appearances, we will feel disturbed.

When these acts of service and words of affection come from a place of true and genuine fondness for the person, they are healthy and effortless, and also make us content. When we feel this contentment, we will naturally emit happiness too.

We remind ourselves that in pursuit of our personal happiness, it is wrong to harm others. Yet it is also wrong to please others in inauthentic ways. Doing so harms us and others too are indirectly harmed.

As women, we are rightly guided to attend dutifully to our spouses, in-laws, and children. So, when we are pursuing our happiness, it does not mean that we become selfish and abandon our families. Here, balance is the key. We must learn to manage our time to attend to their needs and to also carve out time for ourselves. This could be early in the day, before others awaken, and before our other family duties begin, or later in the day after all our tasks are complete.

We can learn to be happy, by doing simple things like resting, writing, walking in nature, reading, making puzzles, baking, swimming, crafting, stitching or even painting.

I believe that true happiness lies in leading a joyful life and by connecting with family and friends in a joyful way, while making some time to understand and do what our hearts desire.

Our larger aim is to honestly improve ourselves, be joyful in each of our roles, and become muminaat mukhlisaat by achieving the khushi and nazarat of Aqa Maula TUS.

Aameen! ⁣